13 For it was you who formed my inward parts;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
that I know very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes beheld my unformed substance.
In your book were written
all the days that were formed for me,
when none of them as yet existed.
17 How weighty to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
– Psalm 139:13-17
I have officially been 40 for 8 days and I have to admit I am a mixed bag of feelings from wise and experienced to amazed and fearful. And yet I feel myself growing into the boldness and audaciousness that comes with entering the 4th decade of life as I’ve been told by my mom and other wise women who are mentors and sista-friends.
As I’m still basking in the newness of it all, this psalm remains a touchstone in my wholeness journey. From when I was in my teens wrestling with who I was to my twenties figuring out who I wanted to be and then my thirties working out my sexual identity and expression this psalm has always reminded me that God’s hands have been all up and through my life and God’s eyes never left me.
This truth emboldened and encouraged me to dare to be me.
Because clearly God knew what God was doing when God created me! It helps me make sense of the risks I have taken in my journey to be me and speak out with confidence about sex, sexuality and faith. So my question for you is will you dare to be? Will you relish in who God has created you to be? Will you take the risk of speaking your truth? Will you trust the truth that God knows you and accepts you, ALL of you? Will you be whole?