Can We Talk…And Not Be Angry?

You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger;
     ~ James 1:19


Sex and sexuality will always be a topic for conversation in the Black church as long as we live.  God created us as sexual beings.  Sex is a natural human drive, along with eating and drinking.  We wrestle with sex/sexuality because there are more dictates than there are discussions.

The documentary The Church House: Sexuality in The Black Church seeks to spark conversation on this topic.  I am excited about another avenue to encourage dialogue about this sensitive subject.  I am also trepidatious due to the high emotions triggered any time Black church folk start talking about sexual activity, homosexuality, gender roles, social mores, the bible and God’s “divine” will.

Here is a preview

Watch it and see for yourself if any of your own emotions are stirred up.  The question then becomes can we have meaningful engagement through listening and sharing without becoming angry?  Are we able to bring our experiences, opinions, beliefs and baggage to the conversation without feeling strong emotions?  How do our emotions help us to sort out the mysteries of our sexuality and faith?

The verse this week has helped and continues to guide me anytime I talk about this topic.  It reminds me of the power to listen first, speak second and always be aware of my feelings and motivations.

We need each other to have this conversation because we live in a world of relationships.  My own wholeness journey has been shaped by the powerful insights taken from heavy conversations and heated discussions about sexuality and the church.  However, my greatest take away has been the personal work I did to refine and articulate my own beliefs and develop a personal sexual ethic informed by my faith tradition.

Will you join the conversation?  Will you talk about it without getting angry?  Will you do your own personal work?  Will you be whole?