The wholeness journey calls us to bring the things that matter together. The questions of who we are, what we think, what we believe, and how we act lead us toward wholeness. Our challenge most of the time is that we have been taught – explicitly or implicitly – that we should already have the answers and thus are whole. But how many of us know that’s not really the case?
Over the course of my life I have measured who I was and what I was doing against the moral and religious lessons passed down through family, church and community. It wasn’t until I had a personal moment of crisis that I was forced to bring it together. However, the challenge I mostly ran up against was not having the tools to help me bring it together. Or in other words support in developing my own sexual ethic informed by belief in God through Jesus Christ.
Let’s be honest, most of us had to learn some of our major lessons through personal struggle and resolve. We were often given tons of advice that we may have kept or discarded. At the end of it all when we look back over our life we see that the final decision to act was always left up to us.
This is no different when it comes to fully accepting who we are as sexual beings and what we believe as Christians. My hope is to share some of the tools that have helped me on this journey to wholeness. A few of the lessons I’ve learned that assisted me in developing a sexual ethic that honors all of who God has created me to be sexually and spiritually.
Let me say this…one of the major challenges that I see and have personally experienced is that we ALL want to have answers neatly given to us so we don’t have to struggle. I use to always search for the easy answer so I could just do it and forget about it. But what happened with me was that I did things I didn’t even know why I was doing them and that never ended up well. It took me some years to figure this out and discover a process that continues to guide my wholeness journey.
Here are the considerations that help me bring it together:
- Articulate what you believe about who God is
- Develop a contextual critique of the scriptures
- Reflect on how your experience has informed what you believe
- Reflect on the ways your belief has informed your actions
- Identify other resources to expand your understanding
- Find conversation partners that you can be open and honest with
- Pray almost constantly for continued guidance and direction
These 7 things have helped me and I hope they help you. Over the coming days I will expand more on each bullet point. The hope is we can engage in some dialogue around the list and the ways many of us have discovered how to bring it together.
Will you be whole?